


Love is Not Forbidden (As long as you can let go)

by Call_me_soldier17



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka Tano Didn't Leave the Jedi Order, Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, Anakin Skywalker Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Fix-It of Sorts, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, Hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ahsoka Tano Friendship, Planet Mortis (Star Wars), References to Mortis Arc (Star Wars: The Clone Wars)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:55:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29882130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Call_me_soldier17/pseuds/Call_me_soldier17
Summary: What if, on Mortis, Anakin wasn’t strong enough to save both Obi-Wan and Ahsoka?Rewrite of Mortis from Obi Wan’s point of view.It’s better than it sounds... I think!
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 14
Kudos: 40





	1. Obi-Wan Kenobi

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like it! I don’t have an editor, so apologies for any spelling or grammar mistakes. I wrote this reaaaally fast so... well, decide for yourself!
> 
> (Obi-Wan’s POV)

I struggled in the new form of the Daughter’s grip, attempting to pry my arms from where the griffin-like creatures' claws were wrapped tightly around them, before realizing that my attempts are futile, and even if I did escape, I would die before I hit the ground. 

The Son had picked Ahsoka up and was flying next to us, so I took the chance to make sure she was alright. Her face was twisted with indignation, frustration, and possibly a bit of pain. I do hope the Son isn’t holding her as tight as the Daughter is holding me. 

Even though Ahsoka is technically assigned to Anakin, her padawan-ship has been mostly jointly taught by us both. She is a part of our family now, perhaps a daughter, and over our missions, she and I have formed a force bond. It’s not as strong as it would be if she was actually my padawan nor as strong as the one I share with Anakin. However, the bond I share with Ahsoka is still filled with light and always feels, well, like Ahsoka: eager to please, fierce, bright, happy, loving, determined, and strong. I began to touch our force bond, to try and come up with an escape plan, but before those familiar feelings can reach my signature, we hit the ground. 

Ahsoka and I are on opposite ends of a large circular arena of sorts, probably the kind to hold spars for animals and warriors. I grimace, glance up at the creature - daughter - above me, and attempt to get out of those bone-snapping claws that just will not release me. 

“Whatever it wants, don’t do it, master!” 

Ahsoka. Her voice drifts to my ears, fiercely determined and strong. My head snaps up and I stop Anakin standing between Ahsoka and me. Observing my surroundings more and taking the time to gather my thoughts and feelings, I realize that it is again pointless to struggle. The father is standing next to Anakin; he is orchestrating all of this. I try to push a few words across by bond with Anakin. 

_ This is the Father’s game Anakin. Do attempt to play along for our host till we know what he wants.  _

I was expecting to feel the passionate, beacon-like signature that belonged to my brother and best friend, but instead I find a wall, void of any light or darkness. I let out an exasperated sigh, the father must be blocking our contact. 

Anakin seems to find a way to escape my plans as always, even when he hasn’t heard it explicitly. He turns to the Father, “Let them go. I will  _ not  _ play your games.”

His eyes burn, but not with the anger of hatred, with something more similar to love. 

The father responds, but his face and tone don’t betray the arrogance or triumph of his words. “Oh, but I think you will.” 

The Father’s voice echoes ethereally around the arena. “I have ordered my children to kill your friends.” My determination peaks as I solidify the idea of why he has us here. Ahsoka starts to struggle frantically, and I can almost feel Anakin's fear and anger through our blocked bond. 

“The question is:” The Father appears up above the arena. “Which one will you choose to save?” 

My breath is coming out in harsh, stunted exhales, and Ahsoka’s lips are twisted into a tired snarl, too tired to continue her attempts to break free. 

“Your master? Or your apprentice?”

I’m so sorry Anakin. This shouldn’t have happened. 

“You must now release the guilt and free yourself by choosing!”

The guilt? What have you done now Anakin? Fond exasperation fills my thoughts before confusion takes over again. Guilty of what?

Anakin’s frantic anger and desperation turn his head to all three of us and back to the Father. “No!”

Oh, Anakin. These are beings entirely made up of the force. I look over at Ashoka, lovely, bright, beautiful Ashoka. 

“Their powers are too strong for us Anakin! Save Ahsoka!”

Ahsoka’s eyes meet mine in horror. She tries to pull her arm from the Son’s grip and cries out in pain and frustration. 

This feeds Anakin's distress, “let them go.”

“Only you can make my children release them.” The Father states matter of factly. 

I can feel the force flowing around me like water currents. It dips and twirls, spins and turns, breathing life and energy. I can’t reach into the currents, the Father is doing something to my access to the force, but maybe Anakin…

“Anakin! The planet  _ is  _ the force. Use it.”

Anakin shuts his eyes for a moment, gathering the rivers of the force to him. Their streams are never-ending and strong. His voice comes out with the ethereal quality of the Father’s, echoing with deeper undertones. “You will let them go.”

The lights on the patterns of the floor light up towards us as Anakin pushes streams of the force at the Son and Daughter. Our captors flap their huge wings against the currents, and just when it seems the claws are loosening, the river of force slips from Anakin’s grasp. His calm and power become clouded by fear and distress. He’s not ready. I know he will do great things someday, perhaps become more powerful than the Father, but that day has not yet come. 

The Daughter and the Son touch down, claws again holding us captive. 

The Father’s lips twitched ever so slightly. “I am giving you a second chance. Choose.”

He looks angry and desperate, almost like he was told Anakin was the world and he is discovering that he might not be. 

“Anakin,” I call softly.

He turns to me. His stunning blue eyes meet mine, a lost look in their eyes almost like he was a padawan looking up to his ideal master. Something I don’t think he sees me as anymore.

“Save our padawan, Anakin.”

Anakin gives me a pained look. “Obi-Wan…”

Ahsoka's Voice snaps into the silence. “Anakin, save Master Obi-Wan. He’s more of use to you and to the war.” Her montrals quiver and darken a shade. “I can’t let you die for me, Master Obi-Wan.”

“My darling, Ahsoka. You are the future of the Jedi, young one. You are strong and fierce and determined, and such a bright light in our galaxy. I will not let that light go out.” Ashoka’s boot scrapes the ground, once, twice, then she glances up at me. Her eyes are full of love and pain. 

“I…” 

Before she can continue, I turn my full attention to Anakin, lest I let my feelings overcome me over the young woman I would call family. Anakin's stance is far less assured and strong that his normal demeanor and his eyes swirl with a barrage of feelings, frustration, loss, fear, and… guilt? Oh, padawan-mine. “Anakin, this will not be on you. I chose this, to save you and Ahsoka. Please, before it’s too late for either of us.”

“I… I can’t… I…” Anakin starts as the Daughter and the Son raise one of their claws and tighten their grip on me and Ahsoka. 

He meets my eyes, and something in mine must have stirred him. He snaps around and races for Ashoka.

The daughter’s griffin claw hovers near my neck, trying to get a good angle. I will only have one moment to escape and I will fight my hardest, so Anakin and Ahsoka don’t feel the pain of loss and well, I don’t actually have a death wish. The Daughter lightens her grip ever so slightly, and I yank my arm as hard as I can and duck under the claw. I am so close to freedom, I can see myself running Anakin and freeing Ahsoka, but something in the force around me makes me pause. I feel a slight tug on the currents and meet the Sons red hell-filled eyes that warn me. The Son is floating in the air from Anakin’s onslaught, a good deal of distance from the ground. If he drops her… I don’t get a chance to finish the thought as the Daughter rewraps her talons around my chest, so tight a few ribs cracked. 

Gasping, I attempt to pry her off me, and simultaneously reach out to the Daughter through the force, the Father isn’t blocking her signature and it feels… sad, regretful, but set. She is pure light and takes no pleasure in hurting me, but she must stand by her Father. He is all that keeps the balance in place. I send a wisp of forgiveness toward her signature; it isn’t her fault. The Daughter gentles her grip a bit in response, and I wince as my ribs shift with the release of pressure. 

A booming voice breaks my connection with the Daughter. 

“You’re time is up.” The Father.

A claw plunges into my abdomen. 

A gasp.

Pain rushes in, unrelenting.

A gathering of the force.

A distant scream. Ahsoka?

Shouting.

Then I’m being lowered to the ground gently, a flash of light as my captor once again turns into a woman. She’s crying silently. Someone is lifting me up and propping my body against them, and I groan at the sharp pain, “Anakin…”

“I’m here, Master. You stay here too, understand? No leaving.”

I give a faint huff as Anakin, the person holding me, brushes a strand of hair from my eyes. “Not like I could just walk away now, can I?” 

A new face hovers above me. Ahsoka. Her eyes are full of tears she’s trying so hard not to shed.    
  


My vision darkens at the edges, but overall the pain, I mostly feel loved. My brother and son, my padawan, my best friend is with me. My grand-padawan, my daughter is with me. This… this is my family. And no matter what, I will never leave them. My shields are in shambles and I can feel Anakin’s and Ahsoka’s bright lights again. I hope they understand how much I love them. 

_ Please. Move on when I’m gone.  _

The lack of reaction and hope in their eyes confirms that I will not make it off Mortis. 

“I don’t know how to let go, Master.” Anakin’s voice comes out raw with emotion. 

_ Remember, and let that be enough. Focus on what you have to live for. Both of you have each other. _

I let a little mischief color my force voice. 

_ And Padme.  _ I smile faintly.  _ And I will always be there in the force. _

“Please don’t go, Master Obi-Wan, please.” Ahsoka. 

_ I have to, young one. Now, both of you, go make the galaxy beautiful for me.  _

I let the darkness take me, not able to resist it’s call. 

Knowing that they will stay together. Knowing they will stay in the light. Knowing they will be able to move on. Knowing they will fight for what they believe in. 

_ I love you.  _

What the order might consider my greatest failure. But… I don’t. Yes, attachment should be forbidden, but love? Never. As long as you are capable of letting go.

As long as you can let go.


	2. Anakin Skywalker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Here’s Anakin’s POV. I hope you like it! Again no editor, so sorry for any mistakes! Enjoy or well, cry like I did. Whichever works for you.

The Father and I were walking in a large, empty arena. I’m not sure what to think of him; his force signature is neither light nor dark and he never shows any emotion, even less than the Jedi council. When we reach the center and pause over a carved circle in the floor, he turns to me. 

“It is time to face your guilt and know the truth.”

My guilt over… no. The rhythmic sound of flapping wings breaks my thoughts, and glancing up, two large creatures are gliding towards us. The first is dark and has bat-like wings and a rounded, ugly head. The second is something much more appealing. It has white wings, a greenish head, yellow legs and almost an ethereal glow around it. 

The Son and the Daughter. 

Looking closer, it seems they are both holding something. No… my anger builds… someone. 

The Daughter and The Son land on opposite sides of the arena, Ahsoka being held by one arm in the Son’s black foot, and Obi Wan in the Daughters golden talons. They are forced to crouch as the creatures land.

I can’t let this happen. This cannot be happening. Passionate anger fills and burns in the force around me, but this time it’s different from the anger I felt for the sand people. That anger was of revenge, this is of love. 

Ahsoka, my Snips calls out to me after the Son roars.

“Whatever it wants, don’t do it Master!”

I glance helplessly between Obi Wan and Ahsoka. I can’t promise that, Snips! I won’t let you get hurt! I’m breathing harder now, desperately trying to keep my composure, and pushing the thoughts of what this performance could be to the back of my mind. I give a glance, a mix of fear and anger, towards the Father. 

“Let them go. I will  _ not  _ play your games.” 

My family. Mine. And I will protect them. 

The Fathers face is void of emotion, yet his words suggest an arrogance only people of great power possess. 

“Oh, but I think you will.”

His voice echoes like some non-corporeal god is lacing their voice under his, and my conclusions can’t be held back anymore.

“I have ordered my children to kill your friends.”

My breath catches, and I reach out through my bonds with Ahsoka and Obi-Wan. The one I have with my Master should have been cut long ago, but since the war and how well we work together, the council decided to let us keep it. I think Obi-Wan has always been disappointed in me, but I’m glad our bond is still in place, always filling me with gentle comfort, love, and mirth. I could never let him go. And Snips? Well, she’s like a little sister to me. Always bubbly and bright, and with a fierce determination that could match my stubbornness any day. As I reach out, I expect to feel their familiar force signatures, but I come across a wall that feels almost like the Father. He must be blocking us, I realize as he speaks again, this time from above the arena.

“The question is: which one will you choose to save?” 

I screw my eyes shut and reach out through the rays of the force, attempting to navigate around the wall the father has put in place, while simultaneously attempting to release my fear into the force as Obi-Wan taught me. 

“Your master? Or your apprentice?” The Father’s voice is still emotionless, and booms throughout the area. I can’t do this, I can’t. 

“You must now release the guilt and free yourself by choosing,”

Desperation and anger surge into the rays of the force around me. “No!”

A familiar voice slows the onslaught of fear a tad. 

“Their powers are too strong for us Anakin! Save Ahsoka!” Obi-Wan’s strong voice reaches me through the haze, but his words do nothing to calm me. I can’t lose you, Master. Obi-Wan has always been my rock, his gentle, warm, beautiful, and determined signature always soothing my erratic one. 

Ahsoka cries out as she tries again to escape the grip of the Son, but it’s no use, and only adds more kindling to the flames of my fear. 

“Let them go.” I add a slight threatening tone to my voice, hoping I can hide the distress. Obi-Wan and Snips could see through it, but maybe the Father can’t. 

“Only you can make my children release them.” The Father says it as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

I grit my teeth. That pile of bantha poodoo. 

“Anakin!” Obi-Wan yells to get my attention. He better not have some self-sacrificing bullshit in mind. 

“The planet  _ is  _ the force. Use it.”

Well, that’s actually helpful. 

I reach out through the beams of the force and shut my eyes, drawing on its power. The light and dark energy, and yes light can be dark, glow and glint as it whispers to my calling. 

I speak my will, and let the force add the same ethereal quality of the Father’s voice to mine. “You will let them go.”

The shafts of the force flicker, and then light up the patterns on the floor, spreading out towards Obi-Wan and Snips. But almost when I think the Son and Daughter will bow to me, their wings flapping as they hover in place, worry and doubt cross my mind when the Son meets my eyes. They glow as red as fire and the creature seems to smirk, saying I will fail, that being the chosen one is not enough, that I will not be able to save the ones I love… and the rays of the force slip from my grasp. 

Obi-Wan and Ahsoka are still captives as they touch the ground. 

For a brief second I think the creatures might finish them off, but the fathers voice rises to me, “I am giving you a second chance. Choose.” His voice has a hint of… is that… annoyance?

“Anakin.” Obi-Wan calls for my attention once again, with a soft forgiving voice. 

I feel so lost as I look at him. I couldn’t save him and I don’t have the answers. Obi-Wan’s gray-blue eyes meet mine, resolved but a bit sad. 

“Save our padawan, Anakin.”

Master, what about you? Why do you never think about you?

“Obi-Wan…” my voice is raw with pain.

Suddenly my fierce, brave Snips speaks up. “Anakin, save Master Obi-Wan. He’s more of use to you and to the war.” Her montrals shiver and the blue turns a bit deeper. She continues almost brokenly, “I can’t let you die for me, Master Obi Wan.”

  
  


Obi-Wan replies lovingly, but determinedly. I mean, where else would his padawans have gotten it from? 

“My darling, Ahsoka. You are the future of the Jedi, young one.” That last nickname isn’t meant to make someone feel small, though I took it that way when I was a padawan. It means he cares for you and wants to protect you, because you matter to him.

“You are strong, fierce and determined, and such a bright light in our galaxy. I will not let that light go out.” 

Ahsoka’s boot brushes the ground a few times before she looks up. Obi-Wan rarely speaks about his feelings, but when he does, he has a certain way of finding what will touch you the most, because you know he means it. Snips’s eyes are full of love and pain. 

“I…” her voice stumbles. 

My master turns from the girl I’m sure he would call daughter, to me. His auburn hair falling across his face in the way it only does when he’s been fighting a long battle. 

“Anakin, this will not be on you. I chose this, to save you and Ahsoka. Please, before it’s too late for either of us.”

But Master, don’t you see? It will be on me! But I can’t let Ahsoka die either. 

“I… I can’t… I…” My families captors raise a claw menacingly.

I meet Obi-Wan’s eyes again. Resolve, love, acceptance, the sadness that I can’t remember not seeing there, and strength flow in the grey-blue orbs. What touches me the most, however, is the pride that glows brightly in him. He… is proud of me. He was never disappointed. And… I won’t let him down. Seems he earned the Negotiator title after all. And anyways, my Master is the greatest warrior in the galaxy, and if I’m being honest, he beat Windu once. If anyone has a chance at getting out, it’s him. 

I race towards Ahsoka before I can change my mind. 

I gather the light around me as I lengthen my strides. The Son will not intimidate me this time. I  _ will  _ save my padawan. 

The Son’s dark power comes to meet me as he rises off the ground and I cocoon myself in the light of the force. 

Ahsoka meets my eyes, a slightly scared but resolved look on her face, but shifts them behind me as triumph flickers through my bond with Obi-Wan. It lasts for only a brief moment before pain rises in it’s place. I almost turn around, but Ahsoka is dangling dangerous above the ground, and I will not let her die. 

I threw rays of the force at the Son, and he threw them back at me, darkened. Again and again we compete in a contest of force powers, but my strongest blow barely buffets his wings. I’m getting a little anxious now, but I free the feeling into the force as an watch Ahsoka struggle with all she has. She will be a powerful warrior someday, my Snips. 

A booming voice pauses my battle for an instant.

“Your time is up,” the Father announces.

No! 

I pull as much light from the planet as I can gathering and gathering at a speed of well, light. I launch everything I have at the Son, willing him to let go and when the rays reach his mind… he bows. 

Ahsoka runs towards me.

A gasp.

Pain floods through my force bond, and Ahsoka feels it too. 

She screams, a pained desperate scream.

“Obi-Wan!” I yell. 

And we’re both racing towards where the daughter is changing back to her humanoid form with tears in her eyes as she watches the form on the ground. 

I lift Obi-Wan into my lap, cradling his body with my own, and he groans painfully, “Anakin…”

“I’m here, Master.” I assure him gently but fiercely. “You stay here too, understand? No leaving.” 

My voice breaks as I spot the wound in his abdomen, spilling blood over his perfect cream robes. 

Obi-Wan gives a huff of faint laughter, as I card my fingers through his hair. 

“Not like I could just walk away now, can I?” I smile sadly and fondly. Always sarcastic. Always trying to lift us up first. 

Ahsoka leans over Obi-Wan and places a hand on his shoulder. Trying so hard not to break down and cry. I start failing first, as tears make their way down my cheeks and I cradle Obi-Wan even closer. 

His shields are falling apart, and as can feel his pain, but also his love, pride, the infinite sadness he always carries, and the beautiful signature that is Obi-Wan Kenobi. 

Thoughts slip up to us, as Obi-Wan is too exhausted to form the words aloud. 

_ Please, move on when I’m gone. _

Ahsoka lets her tears fall now and one drops onto Obi-Wan’s cheek. His breathing is labored, and I don’t even attempt to deny that death is on the threshold. 

Obi-Wan…

“I don’t know how to let go, Master.” The harsh truth comes out raw and lost. I’ve never known how to let go. My biggest fear is put into words. I don’t know how to let go. 

Obi-Wan’s force voice sounds almost like his real one, maybe a bit freer. 

_ Remember, and let that be enough. Focus on what you have to live for. Both of you have each other. _

A faint smile curls his bloodied lips and mirth colors his voice. 

_ And Padmé. _

He knew about us? Oh, Master…

_ And I will always be there in the force. _

Memories flit from his broken shields:

-Meeting me for the first time as a small boy from the desert.

-Dinners at Dex’s with Ahsoka and I. 

-Playing with Ahsoka as a youngling. 

-Lightsaber practice with the both of us. 

-Some of our better war experiences

-One of Ahsoka’s birthday parties.

-My Knighting ceremony 

-The day we all met.

The tears are running faster now and Ahsoka’s voice is so small. “Please don’t go, Master Obi-Wan, please.” Her voice breaks even more. 

_ I have to, young one. _

That nickname again.

_ Now, both of you, go make the galaxy beautiful for me. _

His heartbeats come haltingly now, and Obi-Wan is breathing in short shallow gasps.

His beautiful gray-blue eyes close for the last time. 

_ I love you. _

I hold him close as he stops breathing. As his heart stops beating. Ahsoka hides her face in her hands and lets out a sob. 

This cannot be happening, this is not happening, it’s not. It… is. 

“I love you too, Master.” I whisper to the limp form in my arms that can’t hear me anymore. 

I kiss Obi-Wan’s auburn hair and raise my eyes to Ahsoka. She’s crying hard and hugging her knees to her chest, hand holding Obi-Wan’s to her heart. 

I pull my little sister close to me and let her sob on my shoulder. Rubbing circles on her back as we cry into each other. 

I can let go for you Obi-Wan, but I will never forget you.

I won’t make my love into something as possessive as attachment. 

I stoke Ahsoka’s montrals. “I love you too, you know, Snips.”

She raises her face to me, blue eyes filled with tears. 

I can move on with her.

“I love you too, Skyguy.” 

I won’t let fear control me.

I can love, because that is what the Jedi order meant when they said attachment is forbidden. You can love as long as you don’t let your fear control you. 

As long as you can let go. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaa! Sorry not sorry? I’ve never written Anakin before so I hope that sounded right. Also, who shall I write next???? As always, comments make my day! Thanks for reading! Hope I didn’t make you cry too much!


	3. Ahsoka Tano

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha here it is! I’m so tired I’m not sure it’s as good as the others but... enjoy!

The land moves below me, floating masses of rock and strange landmarks passing under my dangling feet. The Son has his claws wrapped tightly around my upper arms and his claws threaten to dig in, when I struggle. This stupid creature won’t let me go. Well, not that I want to be let go this high up, but still. I give one last snarl and struggle before resigning myself to not being let go until I hit ground. 

I switch my gaze from the scenery to Master Obi-Wan. He looks calm enough, if not a little put off, but his breath is coming out in pants from fighting to free himself. I try to ignore the brush of failure I feel. Master Obi-Wan, while not actually my master, feels like a father to me, not that I’d ever tell him jedi code and all. Anakin, my assigned master, cares for him just as much as I do. I love them both and I know that since I’m their padawan, I’m meant to protect them. I haven’t been doing all that great at that lately. 

A swift dive from our captors brings us to the ground of a vast arena. I really hope we won’t have to participate in arena fights, like the one Skyguy told me about on Geonosis. These unearthly creatures aren’t something I think I can stand against, though Anakin might be able to. Scanning my surroundings, almost like I’d do on a battlefield, my eyes catch on the Father and my Master standing in the dead center of the space. 

No... no, no, no. I yell to Anakin, “Whatever it wants, don’t do it Master!” 

I got us captured, maybe signed our death warrant, but I cannot let Anakin give up anything for me, especially since I know he would give up the galaxy to save those he loves. My Master’s eyes catch mine, the sky blue desperate, angry, and… scared? He rarely lets me glimpse fear in him; it must be really bad. 

I try to reach out to Master Obi-Wan, who’s crouching on the other side of Anakin, struggling in the daughter's grip. I anticipate his caring force signature, the gentle, hopeful presence that is my grandmaster, but all I find is a solid wall. I’m not strong enough to maneuver the force winds around it, so I search for Anakin’s beacon-like force signature instead. Again, all I find is a wall. I can see and feel the breezes of Force, but I can’t manipulate them. Kriff. 

I’m pulled out of my concentration as Anakin says fiercely, “Let them go. I will  _ not  _ play your games.” Good, I think. I can’t let anything else fall for me, because I failed my responsibility. 

Skyguy’s eyes glow with anger and strength, yet I can still glimpse the fear in them. I can’t help but feel responsible for it, afterall I was supposed to protect Master Obi-Wan and I. I huff, I can never seem to do right by the ones I love. At least we aren’t being murdered yet, I think with dark sarcasm. 

The Father’s ethereal voice floats around the arena again. “Oh, but I think you will.” I didn’t actually think the Father was evil, but it’s kind of hard to keep from making quick judgements when you're being held by claws that could snap my arm in half without any effort. 

“I have ordered my children to kill your friends.” 

Fear, surprise, and guilt all rise in me. I push them down. Well, so much for the not being murdered part. 

Anakin and Master Obi-Wan must be so disappointed in me. I move my eyes to the ground trying to calm the storm inside me. I try and try to be a great jedi, to love, but I just keep failing. Skyguy’s desperation and emotions build as the Father continues. Why is he doing this anyways?

“The question is: which one will you choose to save?”

My lips curl into a snarl.

“You must now release the guilt by choosing!”

What guilt? Over… Padme and him? What does that have to do with anything?

Anakin’s anger overflows and a frantic “No!” escapes him. 

A voice breaks through Skyguy's almost tangible emotions, but the words just make my own more prominent.

“Their powers are too strong for us, Anakin! Save Ahsoka!”

Master Obi-Wan! He’s always so self-sacrificing. I love him for it, but, master, I need you too. I will not let my grandmaster give his life for me!

I yank my arm as hard as I can against the Son who still will not let go. The claws dig deep, and I cry out in pain but mostly frustration as my arm bruises. 

Anakin’s face is twisted into a desperate snarl. “You will let them go.”

The Father just calmly states with arrogant surety “Only you can make my children release them.” 

He just… Ugh!

I glance at my grandmaster. He catches his breath before calling out to get Anakin’s attention. Hopefully because he has a plan, but probably also because Anakin looks like he’s going to lose control. 

“Anakin!”

My Master turns his gaze to Master Obi-Wan and the simmering anger, mostly made of love and fear, dies down a bit.

“The planet is the force, use it.”

Anakin immediately closes his eyes and concentrates, and I can feel the winds of the force converging in towards him. The power he wields fills me with awe. I have always known that my Master is powerful, but with the way he sometimes acts like a reckless child, especially near Obi-Wan, I sometimes need a little reminder.

“You will let them go.”

The swirling air of the force brushes the floor of the arena and the carved marking glow. The wind buffets the Son’s and Daughter’s wings and we rise in the air. We’re going to be free, my mistake will not cost us our lives! But… the winds slip. Anakin… his anger, his fear, got in the way. It’s always been Skyguy’s greatest obstacle. 

We touch ground again. 

The Fathers casts his voice into the force. “I am giving you a second chance. Choose.”

I don’t know whether to sigh or growl. 

“Anakin.” Obi-Wan calls gently and Anakin turns to him.

“Save our padawan, Anakin.” 

Obi-Wan says his name so lovingly, he almost never lets that much emotion into his tone, but with Anakin, and sometimes myself, his pure love slips through. But… that love just might make him die for me. 

Anakin’s voice comes out raw with emotion. “Obi-Wan…” 

I will not let this happen. My masters are  _ my  _ responsibility. I call both my master and my grandmaster’s attention to me. 

“Anakin, save Master Obi-Wan. He’s more of use to you and to the war.”

The truth comes out of my mouth with firm belief. I… because I am a failure. 

“I can’t let you die for me, Master Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan’s stunning gray-blue eyes meet mine. They are full of understanding, love, and… pride?

“My darling, Ahsoka. You are the future of the Jedi, young one.” 

A tear almost slips from my lashes at the nickname usually reserved for Anakin, but I blink it away.

“You are strong and fierce and determined, and such a bright light in our galaxy. I will not let that light go out.”

And in a few words, the great negotiator, my grandmaster, basically informed me that he loves me, that I matter, that… that I am not a failure, without revealing my fear to the world. My feet shuffle in an anxious gesture of mine before I meet his eyes.

“I…” I just can’t let someone as good as you, no who is you, die, it’s what I mean to say. 

However, Obi Wan quickly turns toward Anakin, probably to keep his will from breaking with love. 

Anakin’s face looks so lost and afraid, that if the Son wasn’t holding me, I’m sure I would give him a hug, to hell with the Jedi code. 

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan says heartfeltly, “this will not be on you. I chose this, to save you and Ahsoka. Please, before it’s too late for either of us.”

I can’t help but feel that his words are directed at me too, even if I’m not entirely sure I believe them. 

Anakin responds, his facade of ‘the hero with no fear’ out of sight. “I… I can’t… I…”

Suddenly the Son raises a menacing claw, and I fight the urge to struggle.

Anakin and Obi-Wan lock eyes for a moment, and then my Master spins around and races towards me. 

He gathers the force at his heels to propel him forward and encircles it around him. I prepare myself to help and try to keep my worry for Master Obi-Wan in the back of my mind. 

The Son pushes us into the air with great flaps of his wings and loosens his grip so I dangle precariously, a dangerous distance above the ground. 

Anakin starts throwing power the Son’s way and I struggle fiercely, trusting Anakin to catch me if I fall. While the Son’s grip loosened its still kriffing strong. I almost have my arm free when an echoing voice cuts through my focus.

“Your time is up.”

Anakin’s eyes widen and he pushes as much Force as he can toward the Son who falters under the blow and drops me, bowing. 

I roll as I hit the ground and run towards Master Obi-Wan. He’s wrapped in the Daughters talons, a strand of auburn hair across his forehead when it happens. A golden talon pierces his abdomen.

I scream.

Anakin yells “Obi-Wan!”

And we run, we run with all we have and can give, towards when MasterObi-Wan is falling to the ground, and the daughter is humanoid again and crying, and my grandmaster is limp on the ground, and then we’re there. 

Anakin cradles the limp form in his lap and Obi-Wan groans painfully, “Anakin…” 

No, this cannot be happening. Not Master Obi-Wan, not the man who taught me Jar-Kai, not the person who always, always meditates with me and calms me, not my grandmaster, who’s robes are slowly turning crimson around his rooms. 

“I’m here, Master.” Anakin says brokenly and desperately. “You stay here too, understand? No leaving.”

Master Obi-Wan gives a soft huff and says sarcastically, “Not like I could just walk away now, can I?” 

My lips curl slightly, and I give a huff of laughter in return. My grandmaster. 

I lean over to look in Master Obi-Wan’s eyes, his beautiful eyes that have always been like a fathers to me, that… that I might never get to see again. 

Anakin starts crying, silent, pained tears.

Master Obi-Wan’s shields are falling apart, and pain, love, sadness, and him drift through to us, as long with words he didn’t have the strength to speak. 

_ Please, move on when I’m gone. _

I can’t keep my tears in anymore. I know that I am meant to let go, but I can’t, I… this was my fault. 

Oh Master… 

Anakin’s voice draws my eyes to him. “I don’t know how to let go, Master.”

His voice breaks, and he echoes my own thoughts. I don’t know how to let go. 

Obi-Wan gave us a simple, perfect answer. Just like he always does. 

_ Remember, and let that be enough. Focus on what you have to live for. Both of you have each other.  _

A smile graced his blood-covered lips, and again I echoed him. 

_ And Padme. _

Of course he knew. Anakin was never very subtle anyway.

_ And I will always be there in the force. _

You better be, Master. Tears continue down my cheeks.

Then, through his shattered shields, memories met my mind. 

-Him meeting a young Anakin in tatooine

-A dinner at Dex’s with me and Anakin

-Playing with… me. As a youngling. 

That was… him? I remember a kind man who always played with me, but I always dismissed it as Master Plo. It… was him.

The beautiful, heartbreaking memories continued.

-All three of us at lightsaber practice

-A few successful battles in the war

-A birthday party of mine, my first after becoming a Padawan

-Anakin’s knighting ceremony

-the day all three of us meet. 

I’m going to miss him so much.

“Please don’t go, Master Obi-Wan, please,” my broken voice slips out.

_ I have to, young one. _

I grab Master Obi-Wan’s hand and hold it to my heart, rubbing my thumb over his knuckles and kissing his fingertips.

_ Now, both of you, go make the galaxy beautiful for me. _

His breathing was labored now, eyelids fluttering a bit and then closed.

_ I love you. _

And he was gone.

Obi-Wan Kenobi would never open those beautiful gray-blue eyes again.

Anakin whispers brokenly and kisses Obi-Wan’s auburn hair. 

“I love you too, Master.”

I close my eyes and let myself cry, bawl, and the tears fall and fall and fall on the hand in mine. 

_ I love you, Master Obi-Wan. _

Anakin pulls my close and holds me as we both cry for our Master. 

I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry. But… 

I can forgive myself for you, but I won’t forget it. 

I won’t let myself fall because of my fears; I’ll rise because of you. 

Anakin runs his hands over my montrals soothingly.

“I love you too, you know, Snips.”

I raise my face to meet his. He still looks sad but theirs a determination their and a love that I will never forget.

I can move on with him.

“I love you too, Skyguy.”

I will not let my failure define me.

I will always love, because love goes both ways and they will not blame me if something happens. You can love as long as you know it’s not all on you.

As long as you can let go. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :’( How was it? Did I hurt your little hearts? Also, any suggestions would be amazing, either on how I wrote it or who I should write next. Thank you SO much for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> There will be more in different POV’s! Tell me who you want me to write next! Also, does anyone know how to do prompts and stuff? Thank you for reading and helping my poor confused self.


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